Is it normal to miss your booty call?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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