Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
...You tried to use your wallet to call her after you gave your cell phone to the cab driver as a "peace offering"
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
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