Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
He woke me up at 3 am kneeling on the floor pissing and yelling, then he passed out and stole my comforter. I want a new roommate...
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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