you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Life without a bra equals bliss.
On a scale from 1-10 how wrong is it to request "I Hit It First" at my ex's wedding reception?
Definite 12.2 but worth it.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
