The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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