i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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