Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
Tell him you want to lick his face. Didn't work for me but might turn out better for you idk
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
Randomize
