My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
No, i'm not gonna let you give me a footjob on the floor of the cheesecake factory. C'mon.
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
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