btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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