Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
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