Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
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