when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
When we were grinding I think your nuva ring fell into my shoe
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I need to align my fucking chakras
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
Randomize
