his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
Randomize
