Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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