I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Randomize