sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Instead of.being an intelligent and mature adult and dealing with my feelings I chose to get hammered and fuck flounder
Eh it happens
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
