At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
