I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
