i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
My mom slipped a condom in my pocket along with a sticky note that said "be safe sweetie."
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
Randomize
