So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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