so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Randomize