It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
All that matters is I got the megaphone home safely
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
An outback commercial just played and I remembered that guy from Australia Imade out with at the Derby. Great Bachelorette Party, btw.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
