dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Oh I forgot to tell u. I hit someone with my car in the RiteAid parking lot. More like a nudge.
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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