Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Stop thinking about me and go on your date... at least I got the glitter off your face first.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Randomize
