and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
