So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
