I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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