hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
At no time is it ever okay for my doctor to compliment my tattoos, when giving me a physical exam.......
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
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