literally had 100 drinks last night.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
