the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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