I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
