yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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