i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Randomize
