that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
