What a fucking waste of an outfit
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
