Where are you?
In a non slutty way
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
I'm drive I can fine osifer
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize
