Sry I called you an 8
I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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