Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
Woke up, bank account is empty. Sock is still full of blood. Nothing in my pockets but a wireless mic and jenga pieces.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Randomize
