So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Some creeps at the festival started talking to me, so I told them I was going change my tampon. Worked like a charm.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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