I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Randomize
