Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
it was like eating out sand paper
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
you didnt know i had herpes?
Best friends brother. Beat that.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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