matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
