stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
