Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
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