I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
