There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
