Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
