Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I swear that when we jog in the morning I can hear it slap between his thighs
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
