my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
Randomize
