her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
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