Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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