You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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