I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
