after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Come down. You're the next contestant on this bowl.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
There are leaves in my underwear?
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