she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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