Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
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