so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
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