Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Randomize
