I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Randomize
