You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize