OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
