Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
