it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Randomize