time to smoke my breakfast
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Randomize
