She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
Randomize
