Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
