he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
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