She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I'm always down for nudity.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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