Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
you called your neighbor "slutsauce" then passed out on the stairway. not even sure why, but props to you.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
Randomize
